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First summer alone

Summer school kept me occupied. It ended 2 weeks ago and I’m trying to keep myself occupied but the loneliness is really setting in. It was last summer that I kinda lost the last of the friends I had left so this is my first summer all alone. I’m not really sure what to do with my time now. I’m trying to work more and found some volunteering opportunities but I’m spending more and more time thinking about stuff that just really makes me want to die.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I want friends but I don’t. I turn down any chance to socialize and avoid people like the plague so I guess that’s why I’m where I am now.